The Shack
I started reading "The Shack" by William P. Young after my then fiancee and now wife recommended it. I was a little taken aback when she said she had to put it down during some chapters to cry, repent, rejoice, etc. I've never had a book do that to me before with the exception of the Bible, but I was willing to give it a chance.
I brought the book along to our wedding in the Democratic Republic of Congo last month. We had a week in Kinshasa, DRC before the wedding so there was downtime enough to go through a few chapters. Let's just say that after the first few chapters I was trying to find ways to sneek away and read it.
Hands down, I love this book! I was also reading it during one of the most joyous, but difficult times of my life. I won't elude to that now, but "The Shack" helped me see just how much unforgiveness can ruin one's life...or at least try to. I'm not going to give away the plot, but I can guarantee that you'll learn about just how much God truly loves us and is clamoring at the gates of our heart. He's waiting for the day that we'll stop, turn around, listen and act on what He's done for us and have in store for us.
It's amazing! I encourage you to go to your nearest Borders (shameless plug) and buy this book. You can also go to
http://www.theshackbook.com/ to read about the author, an excerpt from the book and testimonials of authors and readers.
Outrite, whatever can help you get over the pains of your heart, do it! Life is too short and the beauty that's right in front of you too grand to let it all go away in drain of despair. God loves beyond any and all situations. Believe me, He loved me through mine.
She Said Yes!?
Now how could I question that my true love said yes when I asked her to marry me? We started out as friends, quickly became "likers," progressed into courtship and were cantapulted into being intended. It was a tale straight out of a movie, but I still had doubt.
Each time I looked into her eyes I could see our future. Those pools of brown goodness surging in the ebb and flow of love, honor, respect and thankfulness to God that she had finally found the "One." I looked back at her still pinching myself that He actually gave me the chance to love someone with everything I have, so how could I still doubt that she would say yes.
It was frustrating, downright illegal that I felt that way, but it was the truth. No one ever knows what lurks in the back of someone's mind when they are looking at and saying things to you. But I had to learn to trust again, to love again to believe again.
So on a dreary Saturday morning I picked up my love and we drove 4.5 hours to Savannah, GA and Tybee Island, GA. When we reached Savannah it looked like it was going through a hurricane, so we continued on to Tybee Island...smart! We drove over marshes teaming with coastal beauty only seen in the South. We reached the island not as tired as expected, but almost giddy. This was our first and last time going away together. It was the first as girlfriend and boyfriend, but its last.
We passed by a few shops and stopped in for bathroom breaks and to shop the local bazaar. She found a beautiful saroong outfit. I found hidden nervousness as I tried to strategize how to pop the question. We drove through the village of Tybee Island, around the corner and parked at a little street leading to the beach.
She was radiant bounding from the car with exhuberance. Excited that she was staring at a vast ocean with her love by her side. I could only admire her. We walked along the beach perspiring from the heat, cooled by the rain and seasoned by the salty sea air. We stopped at a cropping of rocks to lay our things down and observe the water. Then she decided that we should go back so she could change. I agreed, but started to silently pray as I felt the urge to ask her for her hand begin to rise within me. We returned, she got dressed and we walked back to our spot. Finally, I wispered to God for guidance and all He said was "NOW." Red alert, red alert! Please return all facial expressions and gestures to their upright and neutral positions.
"Oh God why now?! Really, oh my God in Heaven, why now?"
"Because she doesn't suspect a thing and she's happy to be here because you are here."
(Blink, blink, question mark face) "Alrighty, let's do it."
I say I forgot something and run back to the car. I grab the ring and a towel. Trying not to run with a ring in my hand, I put it in my back pocket and regain my composure. My heart was starting to pound and I was strolling, no longer running. I reached her and was greeted with a smile, thankful that I brought a towel to keep us dry...somewhat. I went to her and held her. We play danced in the surf, walking deeper and deeper into the shallows. Water crashed against the towers of our legs. My heart roared louder than the old man that is the sea. I ask her, my genie, for three wishes of marriage...jokingly. All responses were met with a yes...jokingly.
Suddenly the doubt that told me to stop was silenced by the affirmation of three sweet words, "I love you." They rang truer than anything I have every seen, heard, felt, touched, tasted or internalized before. I looked at her with eyes full of passion and asked her one last time...seriously. She looked up at me with eyes now full of bewilderment, basically saying "WTF!" I get down on both knees submitting myself to the love that God has placed in my heart for her and ask with a ring dazzling in my hand, "Georgette Ilunga-Kulu Mulunda, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
...
...
...
While I kneeled there waiting, she was jumping up and down with joy that the day had finally come. Trying not to drop the ring while being pounded by waves, I ask again, out of desperation of avoiding losing the ring. She finally calmed down and said the word I've been waiting for..."Yes!"
"She said yes? She said yes?! Hell yeah, of course she said yes! Praise God!" I put the ring on her finger, scooped her up and shouted HALLELUJIAH to my God above. My love had said yes. Was there any doubt! ;)
Late Night Rant
The circles underneath my eyes are big enough to carry a cup of water, but there's nothing like the satisfaction of going to bed accomplished. Not the accomplishment of writing here tonight, but doing something so different from what you're used to and then enjoying it. I had the opportunity to do property management and expand my budding copy writing/public relations business. I'm glad I named the business Fearless Communications because I started it at a point in my life that I've stopped fearing the possibility of doing something good for myself and others.
I've lived a life of complacency thus far. I've tried to make myself so comfortable that I forgot what God had put me here to do. I focused on building up worldly things and ideas that I turned away from the things that gave me more satisfaction than material gains. When I was younger, I was full idealism, hope, courage and an unwavering faith that through God all things were possible. As I grew up into independence I began to force myself out of my younger hopes and into more "grown up" realities. I began to surround myself with people, things and thoughts that drove me to not care about who I was affecting, which direction I was turning and at what consequences would result from my actions. More so, I thought that I didn't need anyone telling me what to do, but I was letting everyone and everything else tell me what to do and didn't notice.
I guess my turning point came over a year ago when I was so desperate for attention and withdrawn from my former glory that I did things that would shame my family, friends and those who looked up to me. After all was said and done, I pondered if I wanted to continue in a life that changed with every passing thought and was navigated by my desires instead of focused on the legacy I wanted to leave for my children. I was in such complacency that I didn't want to give up my current life. I thought that my children would learn from my mistakes and make themselves better people. I was almost about to give up the mantle about being a father when I realized that my own father, who died in 2000, never gave up, not even on his deathbed.
It wasn't just the thought of my father, but the thought of my life being worth nothing until I did something to redeem it, turn it around and regain my glory. So I looked for things that made me feel good about myself, but still wanted to enjoy my current creature comforts. It wasn't unitl I joined a new church ,
Atlanta Metropolitan Cathedral that I found something to make my life worth living again. This new life did come with a consequence, well not a so much a consequence to punish me, but it cost me relationships that weren't leading anywhere, opportunities in the wrong direction and a sense of comfort in my self-identity.
I was reborn, rededicated and reworked, well still being worked on, and turning into something that I never expected over the past few years. Someone who's not afraid to say no, not afraid to pursue what's Godly instead of what feels good, not afraid to speak up for what I belive instead of pushing them aside to benefit others, not afraid to stand on my own two feet raise my hands and surrender who I was in order to become I am destined to be. It's refreshing and I'm glad that it's not just a one-time deal. I've been this new man for more than a year and I've felt that I've been him for all of my life, like this is natural, like going back home and being welcomed with open arms.
As my eyes get heavy and my brain begins to scream for sleep, I'm still buzzed that this new man has accomplished yet another day free from living under the thumb of doing things on my own and living with lighter shoulders because I don't have a burden to carry anymore. It's all His.
For my recent travels go to:
Backpacking While Black 
I'm Back
It's been far too long since my last post and it's only due to my own laziness and shortsightedness. Two years is a long time to let your mind succumb to working in your supposed "dream job." Don't get me wrong, I've learned a great deal at this public relations agency including media relations, dealing with hostile clients, the effect of my efforts on a company's perception, but most of all, what I'm willing to take as far as treatment from others and the stupidity of putting off my dreams because of the comforts of complacency.
Some say that I've given up on something that could've benefited me in the long run. I don't think they know that. Plus, I don't think that would last one day in my shoes. I'm serious. It's a tough job to be me, but alas I go at this with God. Back to the point, for the first year or so, I felt fine working at a job that paid well, but still wasn't pointing me in the direction that I wanted to go. I want to be a travel writer for a Christian lifestyle magazine. Working in an agency on corporate clients doesn't exactly match up with traveling the world and observing Christianity in different cultures. I had to make a decision, continue to put off my dreams or step out on faith and do what I've been called to do. Well, if you haven't got it already, I took the step...well more like a jump...a BIG JUMP.
I go into the future certain of what lays before me, but I just don't know where yet. I wouldn't mind sitting in my pajamas in front of my laptop most of the day writing for a living. It's funny though, I would still have to dress up in my best suit to interview for a job that will pay me to sit in my pajamas and write. But you know what, I'll do it. What's there to stop me? What do I have to fear? What can man do to me?
People would argue that going into a new year trying to
find a new job instead of
with a new job isn't the smartest thing to do, but what great decisions have been smart. Was it smart for us to go to the moon? Not really - it costs too much not just in money, but lives, but we still went and look where we are now. To those who don't support the space industry, think about not having such great things as velcro (hmmm...).
Anyway, if we were meant to make safe, smart decisions we would be regulated to a safe, smart life. I just got through reading "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge and I recommend it to every man and woman who reads this blog. The premise is that we weren't made to sit on our behinds all day in the comfort of complacency. As a man, we feel the need for three things: a fight, a beauty to fight for and an adventure. Even the meak, peaceful guys long for these things. I know I do. My fight is against my own doubts. The beauty I fight for is out there and I pray for her everyday. The adventure I live starts today. That's why it's good to be back on My Dash!!! I wasn't going to take having my manhood crushed all because I sat in a job that everyone else thought was the best for me. I put my life in God's hands and He's given me the o.k. to jump becasue of one simple reason: He has me and I trust him.
Resilience
According to the Webster's Dictionary, resilience means an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. It's one of my favorite words. More so for its application than its meaning. Compared to so many others, my life has been easy up until this point. I've had to deal with death, taxes, jobs, bills, roommates, etc., etc., but nothing compares to the horror that people face during war, famine, genocide, if I may be so extreme. I'm not citing any particular current event, just things on my brain. If I don't, well then here come the ensuing nightmares.
One thing amazes me though about those who go through such trials...they get up again. No matter what, they rise back up, like a phoneix from the ashes to tackle the day again and again and again. I may look at the newspaper or television and feel their pain, but I garner from their strenghth; their never ending resilience to keep on going despite of all odds. Resilience kept the Civil Rights Movement going when they had hoses and dogs turned on them. Resilience kept astronauts going to the moon when we didn't know the first thing about getting off the ground. Reslience keeps us waking up every single day to meet our challenges head on and declare victory in face of our adversities.
Sometimes, it's not that easy to be resilient. How does one gather all this strength all of a sudden? If I knew, I would be writing books and getting paid millions, but before that happens, I have one simple thought; because we can. Every time we wake up in the morning, we're resilient. We have the God given right to fight for what we want. To believe that the paths we've chosen are the right ones and if they aren't, then by all means, hop onto another one. Granted it takes time, blood, sweat, tears and heartache, but punching through the barriers of tribulation brings of through into unbridled joy. It's ying and yang. We all want instant happiness, but how will define that happiness without something to give it contrast. How will we ever grow to fully appreciate our happiness if we don't know what the opposite feels like?
Resilient. We are all resilient. Confess it out loud. Stick it in your office. Write it on your wall, but don't ever forget that we have a destiny and believe it or not, it's to be happy. Stay resilient.
Family has to be the most important thing to me. Even though I'm a Ledgister, a part of me is a Rose- loving, firery and proud. This is the logo I created for my mother's family reunion in May of 2004.
